Indeed.

When I look at my spiritual walk over the last half-decade, there’s no way I’d call myself part of an Inner Circle like that. I’ve had massive doubts, questioned the existence of God, and done more horrible things than I care to count. For me to put myself in the shoes of the men who walked, talked, lived, ate, and breathed by the side of Christ for three and a half years almost borders on blasphemy.

So, as a result, whenever Communion comes by on a Sunday morning, I don’t take it. That’s my intensely personal reason. I don’t look down on anyone who thinks differently about it, that’s just how it is for me.

This last Sunday was a Communion service at Friends Church. At our church, the Communion servers stand at stations and over the course of usually 2 songs, people are welcome to approach (standing in line, usually) and take Communion at their leisure. I quite like that system, rather than sitting in my seat as the little plate of bread and cups of juice go past me. Anyways, the second song is nearly over, all of the communion stations are empty of people, and I can see the servers starting to look like they’re about to close up shop.

Something in me made me stand up, and walk up to the station nearest me. I took my bread, my cup, and maybe for the first time in my life, actually took Communion with my eyes finally open to the truth.

(I don’t know why I’ve never realized this before, and the astute reader will already see where I’ve COMPLETELY missed the point.)

Jesus had also served bread and wine to Judas.

This is the ongoing topic in the church my mom goes to these next few weeks.

Apparently being “culturally relevant” now involves copyright infringement and ripping off seven-year-old ad campaigns. /facepalm

Although I’ve been told that they have every intention of keeping me, the reality is that on June 18 I may very well be out of a job. Until I’ve got a signed piece of paper in my hand, I’m operating under that assumption, and preparing for it as I should.

I absolutely want to stay at CM, but I’m also fully aware that the reality is that I may not be able to. In the interests of wanting to be able to continue eating and keeping my lights on (and my LotRO subscription in good standing) I’m hedging my bets and starting to blanket my resume/portfolio around.

Actually, I’m still in the process of rebuilding and updating my circa-2005 website, which all things working out as they should, will likely be finished and online in, um, about 2 hours from now. *crosses fingers*

I hate job-hunting.

So instead, I find myself still awake at quarter past 12, drinking South African Cabernet, and listening to the Sneaker Pimps. This doesn’t necessarily seem like a bad place to be, overdue projects and pressing deadlines notwithstanding.

This is a recurring theme for me… “the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.” Not just in the arena of work projects, but in so many other ways. I have stupendously good motives most of the time, it’s the follow-through that’s a bit more, shall we say, “lacking.” We could also say “suckass.” Or “fecking useless.” You get the idea.

Still. Sneaker Pimps. Red wine. I could be in much worse places.

Religion is a set of rules. Faith is a relationship.

Religion is static. Faith is dynamic, always changing.

Religion encourages conservativism. Faith encourages progress.

Religion seeks to tell you what you cannot do. Faith gives you the freedom to do anything.

Religion starts wars. Faith ends them.

Religion says “we’ll love you if you look like us.” Faith says “we love you just the way you are.”

Religion hates the sin. Faith loves the sinner.

Happy birthday, dad.

I miss you.

“It is our assertion that the vast majority of the problems that exist in the present day world trace sources, direct and/or indirect, in religious thought and/or practice.”

Really.

If this was high-school debate class, this would be over before it started since blanket statements such as this one are virtually impossible to prove. “Direct and/or indirect” is a pretty broad stroke to paint with as well, as almost anything can be tied “directly and/or indirectly” to “religious thought and/or practice.” However, high school was over a long time ago, and it’s the spirit behind the statement that I want to address. (more…)