this is my blood, shed for the forgiveness of sins

Interesting experience sitting in church last Sunday. First of all, a little history. I have very very seldom participated in the sacrament of Communion for about the last 4 years. I look at Communion a little differently than most people… when I read the biblical accounts of the Last Supper, I see Jesus gathered together with “his men.” His absolute closest, most trusted, most intimate relationships on earth, and what he gave them was beautiful. A powerful object lesson in the sacrifice he was about to make a scant few hours later.

When I look at my spiritual walk over the last half-decade, there’s no way I’d call myself part of an Inner Circle like that. I’ve had massive doubts, questioned the existence of God, and done more horrible things than I care to count. For me to put myself in the shoes of the men who walked, talked, lived, ate, and breathed by the side of Christ for three and a half years almost borders on blasphemy.

So, as a result, whenever Communion comes by on a Sunday morning, I don’t take it. That’s my intensely personal reason. I don’t look down on anyone who thinks differently about it, that’s just how it is for me.

This last Sunday was a Communion service at Friends Church. At our church, the Communion servers stand at stations and over the course of usually 2 songs, people are welcome to approach (standing in line, usually) and take Communion at their leisure. I quite like that system, rather than sitting in my seat as the little plate of bread and cups of juice go past me. Anyways, the second song is nearly over, all of the communion stations are empty of people, and I can see the servers starting to look like they’re about to close up shop.

Something in me made me stand up, and walk up to the station nearest me. I took my bread, my cup, and maybe for the first time in my life, actually took Communion with my eyes finally open to the truth.

(I don’t know why I’ve never realized this before, and the astute reader will already see where I’ve COMPLETELY missed the point.)

Jesus had also served bread and wine to Judas.